Funny Wedding Card Poems: Congratulations for Getting Married

Funny wedding poem to write on a greeting card

Funny Wedding Card Poems: A wedding is the perfect occasion to shower blessings and give good wishes to newlyweds. But it’s also a great opportunity to taunt and tease the new bride and groom. Whether it is your best friend, colleague, cousin or a family member who is tying the knot – don’t miss the golden chance of pulling their leg. Mock them with cute one-liners about marriage and tease them about entering the worst phase of their lives. Post sarcastic congratulatory wishes on their Facebook, welcoming them to the world of fights and arguments. Put a smile on their faces by giving them a quirky gift along with a funny quote written on a greeting card. From fighting to sharing domestic chores to experiencing romantic moments – your messages should convey how marriage is a mix of sweet and sour.


1) The local news channel

Has issued a warning

The weather department

Has been forecasting

A deadly storm will loom

Large upon your life

Starting from the day

You become husband-wife



2) I always thought you were

A little immature

By getting married

You proved that for sure

I always had an inkling

That you were a tad stupid

And by tying the knot

You’ve just confirmed it



3) Marriage is like fine wine

Expensive and classy

You expect a good kick

But nothing happens eventually

The futility of the wine

You only realize later

Drinking beer with mates

Suddenly seems much better



4) The biggest tournament

The grandest match ever

The toughest challenge

The mightiest endeavor

Of your life will now

Shortly begin

In which only the ladies

Are allowed to win



5) Another couple

Bites the dust

By doing what everyone

At some point must

Marriage will make you

Dig your own graves

Congratulations for becoming

Each other’s slaves


6) No more

Late night partying

No more

Random traveling

No more

Spontaneous spending

No more

Whimsical splurging

For you will now

Be entering

Your married lives

So slow and boring



7) Be sure that you can

Take all this hardship

All the responsibility

Of a new relationship

Be ready for sharing

Your room with someone

And to miss out on

All the joy and fun



8) The key rule

To keep a marriage happy

Is to always have

A selective memory

Remember all the things

That you both do right

Forget each other’s mistakes

Before going to bed at night

One more secret for having

A joyful matrimony

Is to impose this rule

Only on your hubby



9) By saying I do

To slavery you have agreed

My friend you have done

Yourself a deadly deed

Just a few months ago

Your life was a party

Now you have succumbed

To a life of drudgery



10) You have taken the path

Of no return

On the road of marriage

There is no U-turn

You have signed up for

A loss-making deal

Your life will now be reduced

To being a hamster wheel


Cute poem to say congratualtions for wedding to friends

11) You will question

You will doubt

You will start thinking

What life is all about

You will become

A philosopher

Thinking about things

That could’ve been better

This is what marriage

Will do to you

You better know what

You’re getting into



12) While you were dating

Your girlfriend yielded influence

Now that you are married

She will yield pure dominance

By making the rules at home

She will rule over you

I won’t be surprised to see

You being beaten black and blue



13) You haven’t just

Exchanged wedding bands

You have tied handcuffs

On each other’s hands

By deciding to

Tie the knot today

Forever in prison

You have chosen to stay



14) To have lots of fun

Get ready

By using your husband’s

Monthly salary

Raid his bank account

All that you want

To buy clothes and shoes

That you can flaunt

For that is the real

Meaning and definition

Of being happily married

And having lots of fun



15) After all these years

The day is here

When you both get married

With celebratory cheer

Thanks for getting off

My back finally

By getting a husband

To harass permanently



16) If you wanted to have

A carefree and fun life

You should’ve stayed single

Not get yourself a wife

If you wanted to do something

Exciting after college

You should have gone traveling

Not pick something crazy like marriage



17) We are at such a loss

Since you have gone

Our group will have to do

Without you from now on

We are unhappy because

You aren’t a bachelor anymore

Now that you are married

You will be a big bore



18) I know why you got married

You wanted me to feel bad

Because I am still single

You wanted me to be sad

But now I will take

Sadistic pleasure in seeing

You both getting married

And permanently suffering



19) Full of potholes and dead ends

Marriage is a bumpy road

A melting pot of emotions

Which might just explode

An unpredictable journey

It always tends to be

I wonder why smart people like you

Undertake a proposition so risky



20) Only crazy people like you

Go ahead and get married

Only stupid people like you

Forgo bachelor life so vivid

Only dumb people like you

Dig your own grave so soon

Not knowing that being single

Is meant to be such a boon

Kudos to the courage

And valor you have shown

You are the silliest

Bachelor I have known


Funny wedding card poem and message

21) Love, care and affection

Will be replaced by confrontation

Smiles, winks and coyness

Will be replaced by unhappiness

Shopping, dating and fine dining

Will be replaced by arguing and fighting

Welcome to a place called hell

Bid your bachelor life a final farewell



22) Climbing a high mountain

Is not a proof of bravery

Nor is free-falling

Into a deep and dark sea

The real act of courage

Is plunging into

Something called marriage

For that kudos to you



23) The internet is replete

With funny quotes

Blogs are overflowing

With anecdotes

Of how marriage tastes

Both sweet and sour

To courageous couples like you

I wish more power



24) Marriage is a game

In which you’ll always loose

No matter what you say

Or which side you choose

It is a double-edged sword

Which will hurt you anyway

Congratulations for heading

Towards your D-Day


25) Gather all your strength

Save all your energy

Put together all your might

You will need it badly

Married life, after all

You are entering

Get yourself ready for

Constant bickering and fighting



26) In front of you there was

A platter full of sweets

You could pick anything up

And enjoy multiple treats

But your eyes were set

Only on one delicacy

All I can say is that your life

Is a missed opportunity



27) Look closer and you will find

That your wedding ring is a chain

All the fluff and romance

Will eventually be futile and vain

Reflect deeply and you will see

That your wedding is just the start

Of discovering a monster

In the person you called your sweetheart



28) Your marriage will spell

Big trouble for me

Now I’ll too be forced

To get myself a hubby

Now that you’re hitched

I’ll be pushed for it too

As my best friend

This is all that you could do



29) Tying the knot in other words

Is tying yourself to a boulder

You will now have many

Responsibilities to shoulder

Slipping the wedding ring

On each other’s fingers

Will leave you with no option

But to always be together



30) You lost your chance

To have fun with your own money

Now you’ll be spending it all

On your honey

You blew away the option

Of enjoying your savings

Now you’ll waste it all

In silly grocery shopping